It has been awhile since I last posted something here. I am sorry for the uncalled for leave of absents.
A lot has been changing in my world and like most of you would expect I am poorly coping with that change. I guess if you were reading anyone else's blog the news of their engagement would be happy news. Well you are not reading someone else blog you're reading mine and with most things in my life pain follows happiness. I feel like I am in the middle of a spiritual battle, one I was not prepared for. After our engagement all was well, we were happy and excited then the fear set in. Our we doing the right thing, is this God's will, what if we hate each other, what if he cant find more work. I was haunted with what if syndrome, something I hate with ever fiber of my being. All I wanted to do is scream , stomp my feet and yell at God like a child to her Father, THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!! However I thought that may be sending the wrong message, instead I prayed. I went to Mass, I said my rosary, I spent time in adoration. I repeated Jesus I trust in You over and over. Then the fear went away, for me at least. My partner is still wrapped in his fear looking for the exit. Should this scare me? I do not think so, here is why; I trust in God. Simple and matter of fact. I know He led me here, I feel Him urging me to keep going, just a little longer, to keep fighting. I recently came across the idea that when you are open to doing God's will the more you will be spiritually attacked. The closer you get to achieving God's will the more the evil things playing on your weakness will taunt you. I do not know what comes next but I do know I trust in Him and no matter what happens, I am loved.
