When I do not feel like being Christian

I yelled at the cashier in Acme the other day. I was having a few rough days and for some reason prayer was not snapping me out of it like normal. The night before at our weekly prayer group I actually used the F word. What is wrong with me! That answer is not a short one and not really going to give us any break through. In short, I am a person. I am prone to moods that are less than desirable. It is all about how I choose to navigate through those moods that matter. Do I take the calm loving Jesus approach? Yes I should but I do not always. Sometimes I tell the cashier that if he is not going to do his job correctly he should find a new job. Sometimes I am short with my Aunt when there is no real reason to be. None of this makes me the worst person but none of it makes me a  better one either. I have put a lot of work into myself the past few years and in moments like I just mentioned all that work looses credibility.  As a Catholic Christian I am called to be like Jesus, no matter if the person next to me is rude or I have not slept. I am called to love them because He loves them. I have come to see this is one of my Lenten lessons. I need to be more charitable, loving, compassionate, flexible. I need to live the Gospel in yet another way, loving my neighbor. This has been a great Lent so far and I am grateful and happy to learn these lessons. I know I will be learning them for many many years, and most likely reviewing them in purgatory, but I am happy to do it, joyful even. I am so pleased to know that God still loves me, no matter how crabby I am, he still cares enough to remind me gently me, Love your neighbor as yourself.