Waves of Sin

Sin. One small word that means so much. How are we effected by it?

Sin makes us ugly, inside and out.. It causes waves of sorrow in our life's and destroys our relationships with one another and with God.. No matter what name you call it sin is there. And no matter how you ask for forgiveness it is also there...

I want to talk about a certain kind of sin, sexual sins.. Sins of the flesh.. As a practicing Catholic this is a big deal.. I am unmarried and in a relationship.. I am 24 and have urges and feelings just like everyone else.. However I also have a past. In my current relationship we practice chastity as hard as it is and there are times we do fall but our goal is to live as chaste loving Christians.. Yet there is a unspoken tension in the air.. A missing of trust.. A judgment.. My boyfriend and I have not always practiced our faith as best we could and that has caused a wave of sin in our life together.. Bc we both have had sex in one form or another we are lacking a trust, there is a missing piece to our puzzle that God made for us.. One may ask how do we mend this? What does it mean for us in a marriage? All of these questions are good and should be addressed but what I feel we are lacking is the idea of forgiveness. We as Catholics have the sacrament of confession.. Both my boyfriend and I have gone to our priest in persona Christi we have confessed these sins and have been forgiven.. Yet, we still have this hole... God has forgiven us, He has moved on yet we still let the past effect our future.. This is a far greater sin.. Not trusting in Our Lords love and mercy... I see now the error of my ways. This wave of sin I have caused in my life and all I can do is pray.. Pray for the strength to stay out of sin, to listen to Our Lord and to pass on the knowledge my mistakes have caused me to have to the children God grants me with..