The overwhelmingly rewarding job of Consoling the Heart of Jesus

A seminarian friend of mine recently saved my life. Not in the way you would think, I was not trapped in a car or in a burning building literally, but spiritual I was a mess. Spiritually I was in a car on fire in a building on fire under water drowning and again on fire. However God is merciful and he sent my friend to me in the nick of time. I was sitting in adoration not talking to God but having more of a childish arms crossed stare off with him when my friend entered.He gave me a soft knowing smile and handed me a very large book. It was a do it yourself retreat, inspired by the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius entitled,  Consoling the Heart of Jesus, http://thedivinemercy.org/chj/ I have to admit it was a bit funny that I was handed a do-it -yourself book considering I had been trying to "do it myself" and was not getting very far. The missing component just happened to be , Jesus. So, here I was " doing it myself" like so many of us do and forgetting to stop and ask Him for directions. Nevertheless, I received this book and opened it with a mix of emotions. I did not know where this retreat was going to take me, but I knew I needed a change somehow. I have not yet finished this retreat but I want to share something I read this morning in adoration with you all. I was surprised when I read this, shocked even. After reading it I got to my knees and begged for forgiveness that I did not even know I needed to ask for before these simple paragraphs."...Briefly there is a pause in the violence as the priest and elders discuss among themselves the best way to condemn Jesus to death. In the flickering light of torches you see the deep sorrow on the Lord's sullied face. As you contemplate his downcast countenance, his already closed eyelids suddenly tighten and his brown stiffens. A faint groan issues from his mouth, and it looks like he's about to fall over. You ask him what's the matter my Lord? What just happened? Without looking up , he whispers, My friend Peter just denied me three times. This brief meditation may help us to understand better the sensitivity of the Lord's Heart. For what wounds him most is, indeed, when those closest to him reject him and don't trust him. So what hurts the Lord most? Was it the nails that were driven into his wrist and feet? Or was it the sight through his supernatural vision of serious sins such as adultery and murder? Surely , seeing such sins would have pierced Jesus' Heart. It may come as a surprise , however, that such sins don't seem to be the ones that hurt him most. What hurts him most is the sin of distrust, that is, when people don't trust in his merciful love, especially when its those closest to him. That may sound strange at first. After all sins involving sex or violence tend to capture our attention most....." I hope this passage was as helpful to you as it was for me. I have spent so much time focusing on the sin and not on how it affect Jesus. I have over looked my distrust and rejection of him within my sins and that is something I never want to do again