The Virture

Patience. A virtue I don't really have. I seem to obtain this in waves, I have it while at work with the kids all day or I have it while in a 3 hours meeting but when I need it most it fails to appear. I do not have it with my family by any means, everything they say or do drives me up a wall. I am sure some of that is normal growing pains of having a big family but a lot of it is just me, being annoyed. I also loose my view of patience with my relationship. I want what I want and I want it now. Now of course I am not talking about dinner at a nice restaurant or a new necklace I am talking about marriage, I don't want to wait any longer so I vocalize that and then the stress comes rolling in. All of these things I am bad with, my all or nothing line kicks in and I find myself stuck between a bullet and a target, somewhere I don't want to be. I know God is calling me to be better. I know He is putting me in these situations so I can learn to offer this up and over come these small things as prayers for bigger issues. I am horrible at it. I want to be better and I pray hard to improve but every time I am faced with a family member or a annoying person in a store or my relationship status I loose my patience and my human nature comes out in droves. I guess this is a life long battle, a cross per say that I will need to learn to carry a bit more upright. On one hand I feel blessed that God cares enough to point this out to me and be willing to help me work on it, however the other hand is tapping its fingers...