Grace Love and Will.

I have been a Christian long enough to know God loves me, however that doesn't stop me from being shocked every time He intercedes in my life. It really makes me think about all the people who say that there is no God. It makes me wonder, have they tried praying? When we are in love with God, and we have the will to follow Him then our will interlines with His. So when we are praying or asking for help or just talking to Him about our life His answer is what is utterly best for us.. Not because we loose ourselves in the relationship but because He loves us so much He gives us what is best for us and what will and does make us happy. I feel like we all forget from time to time that He created us, like the loving Father He is He wants to take care of us so shouldn't he know what is best? Now we can and do use our free will in all of this and he is fine and happy about that but I guess the point I am stumbling to make here is that if we love truly love then trust in him is short to follow and then around the corner comes bliss, whether the answer we receive is what we wanted or not.

Frustration

I have been so tired of my life these last few weeks. I am tired of thinking about what is next. I am tired of putting my trust in people. I am just tired. I guess that tiredness comes from frustration. I am frustrated with my state in life at the moment yet my hands are tied when it comes to change and I have always hated that. I was always so determined to be in control to be able to call the shots in my own life but it has yet to happen. Now at 24 I find myself back in the same spot waiting for someone else to call the shots so I can see what my next move is. I can complain about this all I want but I do have control in something, I can choose to walk away or stay. But then the questions of love comes in. How much are you willing to deal with for love? Do you "stand by your man" while he figures things out with hopes that it will all work out in your favor or do you walk away live life and wait for him to get it together alone? I say stay. I say that if this are what God wants and I am to marry this man I need to support him, in good times and in bad. However, is that being walked on or a good woman?

New year, New you?

I woke up this morning thinking about the new year. New things make me nervous. I am starting a new job on Monday and I already want to back out, so will this new year be any different? I am a big advocate of the power of our own mind, I think we as people can change how we feel about something, everyone is capable of change , we just have to believe it. So can I change my old ways in this new year? Can I be the confident girlfriend, the helpful daughter, the skilled new employee? If I follow my own advise I can, I can do , be and feel anyway I want but how much of what I spout about is fluff and how much is real? When the time is up , can I follow my own advice? I guess it all comes down to belief. Believing in myself and in God, that He will never steer my wrong since I believe.

Merry Christmas

Christmas season is almost over. We have but a few more days to soak in this Spirit. I never really enjoyed it as a child it was all about the gifts on the one day but now that I am older and understand the true meaning of Christmas I want to drink up every drop. The hardest part is over, family , gifts, dinners, the stress is over and I am very thankful that we have these days to refocus if we have lost the sight of Our Father. I wish I prepared a little more for Christmas but because our Lord loves us He always gives us more time, a second chance and when needed a third. So Merry Christmas and happy new year! I pray everyone finds new reasons to push forward reach higher and love more.

O come all Yee Faithful!

Christmas time is here again, This year it snuck up on me. I was consumed with things of my own life and failed to realize that Our Saviors birth was right around the corner. Maybe I just ignored it on purpose, Christmas seems to always be the time for self examination. Either we visit family and get the " why aren't you married yet" question or we are absorbed with our own life's and have to look at all we have accomplished in the last year. As most of you who read this know I have been doing that self exploration thing these past few months and really the past two years. However this Christmas is different for me, I am not upset for once, I am not sad that I did not accomplish anything, In fact I have done a lot this year. I am proud of all I have been though BC I feel like it was all organic, from God and lead by Him. Sure I put my hands in the mix a little too much but He was the one making the cake. So as this last week of Advent is here and we get out our best dresses and hats I am over joyed to start a new year in my life, because now I see, it is not just my life, it is His life too and that is the best gift of all!

Day to Day

What does God want me to do in my life? What is all of this for? I know that as a Christian I am supposed to follow Him, obey the commandments and do my best to listen to Him. But what if I am not good at that? What about when I fall and I break a commandment? As Catholics we have confession, if we put ourselves into mortal sin we should receive the sacrament of confession to once again connect us with God. But what if I still feel empty after? Does the connection we have with Our Father always have to be pulsing beneath our skin? Or like Mother Theresa can we feel hollow and empty, being called to a harder road of just trusting Him? At 24 years old I don't have the answers, I barely keep my head above water in this spiritual flood and I expect that I will feel this way for many more years, at least until I come face to face with The Father. So with all that said how do I deal from day to day? How to I push the empty feelings aside and focus on my pray life and build my relationship of faith? It is often when we do not want to pray that we should, those are the times of great trust and connection with the Holy Family. As hard as it is, I will propel myself forward and with grace into His loving arms.

The perfect family

It is almost Christmas. I used to get so excited about this time of year. The first snow fall, the smell of ginger bread, Christmas morning. I am still excited but for different reason. I understand the season better now so I can enjoy it differently. I have always had these romantic images of what Christmas would be like if I were married and had children. I was telling these thoughts to my friend the other night when I realized that my thoughts and dreams go deeper then just a pretty picture. I always imagined being at home baking cookies with a curly haired little girl while my husband and son went out in search of the perfect tree. My daughter and I would talk about what we hoped the tree would look like all along knowing that the men we love would bring us home perfection bc we trust them. I will trust in my husband with every choice bc I know he is listening to The Father. My little picture perfect world is actually not about Christmas tree's and cookie making at all. It is about the deeper bond between us and God. Its is knowing that He will never steer us wrong. He will provide for us in time of need of Christmas tree's or in the time of need of a job to support our family. He loves us so much that during this season He sent His only Son. He makes sure we are taken care of in all ways, all we have to do is trust in Him. Move froward with our life's bc we know He will be waiting.