Food Food Food

I love food. I cant help it. There is something programmed in my brain that sets off fireworks when I smell garlic, or give me a drooling mouth every time I walk past a bakery. These things just happen so I have come to believe God made me this way, I better use it! At the moment I am fasting for Lent from all sugar as well as all alcohol. This may seem easy for most but for me all I want to do is curl up with a glass of dark rich red wine and a chocolate lava cake! However feeling the grace I get when my belly growls and I can offer that up for people less fortune or when I see that candy bar in the grocery store line and I know not eating that may help save a soul in purgatory. Those feelings make me center back to God and all He does and is doing for me. Those feelings make me a tiny bit more grateful of His love. So I think after Lent ends I wont go back to my normal glass of wine with dinner or chocolate on a weekday afternoon. I will offer that up throughout the year for all those who suffer for all those who do not know God as well as they would like to, for all.

A little shout out on the book I just read; "The girl in the orange dress" written by Margot Starbuck.

Lately it has been snowing here, a lot. I love the snow when it is falling down in mystical little flakes but as soon as it stops I am ready for it to find a new home. I wish we could scoop it up and send it out to sea, however it does make for great reading time. I was just given a book from my friend and author , Amy Julia Becker{ her book ,Penelope Ayers can be bought through her website; http://www.amyjuliabecker.com/}. The story Amy Julia handed over to me is written by another fabulous author, Margot Starbuck{ http://www.margotstarbuck.com/} her story is a spiritual memoir. A long journey to find "the Father that never fails." I too have gone down this path and I know it is not a easy one. There are times of betrayal , hardship, emotional pain and sorrows that make you wonder if you will ever be a happy person again. Yet, I feel this is such a needed road to go down to be truly one with yourself and God. I know I would not be the strong woman I am now if I had not stopped to listen to our Heavenly Father for a moment, if I did not swallow my pride for a brief second and frankly , shut up. Margot paints a picture for us that is so familiar that I found myself crying and laughing all at once. It was like she was in my head on many occasions and just captured my thoughts in a more articulate way. I wont say too much on the book because I do not want to spoil it, I simply suggest you run out and buy it now. You wont be sorry, this story is truly one of grace, love , compassion and hilarity.

Dream big

I am a big advocate of doing what you want. Now I know that can be taken a few ways and since I am a Christian I know that it can and always is brought up in argument. However what I mean by that is, standing up for what you believe in, in union with God. I am pro life so I pray and I stand up for the unborn.I feel that we all should do what makes us happy so I pray and ask God what that is. I recognize that I am small, I know nothing so I consult the One who knows it all. I want to follow my dreams and I want my dreams to have passed through His sleep first. If that means I move to Rome and live in a small home raising children and making meals then wonderful, if that means I stay here and work until my hands are old and wrinkled with the signs of my life then I am pleased to do it. I actually think that a elderly woman's hands are one of the most beautiful pieces of art God makes. No matter what my dreams may be I will chase them, praying and letting the sweet wind of the Holy Spirit fill my lungs.

Grace Love and Will.

I have been a Christian long enough to know God loves me, however that doesn't stop me from being shocked every time He intercedes in my life. It really makes me think about all the people who say that there is no God. It makes me wonder, have they tried praying? When we are in love with God, and we have the will to follow Him then our will interlines with His. So when we are praying or asking for help or just talking to Him about our life His answer is what is utterly best for us.. Not because we loose ourselves in the relationship but because He loves us so much He gives us what is best for us and what will and does make us happy. I feel like we all forget from time to time that He created us, like the loving Father He is He wants to take care of us so shouldn't he know what is best? Now we can and do use our free will in all of this and he is fine and happy about that but I guess the point I am stumbling to make here is that if we love truly love then trust in him is short to follow and then around the corner comes bliss, whether the answer we receive is what we wanted or not.

Frustration

I have been so tired of my life these last few weeks. I am tired of thinking about what is next. I am tired of putting my trust in people. I am just tired. I guess that tiredness comes from frustration. I am frustrated with my state in life at the moment yet my hands are tied when it comes to change and I have always hated that. I was always so determined to be in control to be able to call the shots in my own life but it has yet to happen. Now at 24 I find myself back in the same spot waiting for someone else to call the shots so I can see what my next move is. I can complain about this all I want but I do have control in something, I can choose to walk away or stay. But then the questions of love comes in. How much are you willing to deal with for love? Do you "stand by your man" while he figures things out with hopes that it will all work out in your favor or do you walk away live life and wait for him to get it together alone? I say stay. I say that if this are what God wants and I am to marry this man I need to support him, in good times and in bad. However, is that being walked on or a good woman?

New year, New you?

I woke up this morning thinking about the new year. New things make me nervous. I am starting a new job on Monday and I already want to back out, so will this new year be any different? I am a big advocate of the power of our own mind, I think we as people can change how we feel about something, everyone is capable of change , we just have to believe it. So can I change my old ways in this new year? Can I be the confident girlfriend, the helpful daughter, the skilled new employee? If I follow my own advise I can, I can do , be and feel anyway I want but how much of what I spout about is fluff and how much is real? When the time is up , can I follow my own advice? I guess it all comes down to belief. Believing in myself and in God, that He will never steer my wrong since I believe.

Merry Christmas

Christmas season is almost over. We have but a few more days to soak in this Spirit. I never really enjoyed it as a child it was all about the gifts on the one day but now that I am older and understand the true meaning of Christmas I want to drink up every drop. The hardest part is over, family , gifts, dinners, the stress is over and I am very thankful that we have these days to refocus if we have lost the sight of Our Father. I wish I prepared a little more for Christmas but because our Lord loves us He always gives us more time, a second chance and when needed a third. So Merry Christmas and happy new year! I pray everyone finds new reasons to push forward reach higher and love more.