I dont want to give up the fight,

Intuition. That feeling in your gut that tells you yes or no. Mine has never ever let me down. I have been in many different situations and I have had that feeling kick in and I've always been lead to a place I was okay with , felt good about even. So what do I do now when my feeling is telling me, this isn't right? My gut is saying God wants you two together and we all know that. I feel crazy, like my heart, mind and body have entered a boxing match with one another. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and I get the same answer but he doesn't. He says I am in love with you, I just don't think its Gods will. It is my word against his. This is the worst situation I have ever been in and Ive been in crack houses in Trenton. Everything in my body says this isn't right and I have to fight that, I have to ignore it. I can offer all this pain up and I am but does it ease the pain? No way. I can be in adoration daily and I am but is it taking away this sting? Nope. God is telling me "you are right , Shannon but can do nothing about it". My hands are tied. I have no say in this, I have been kicked out of a moving car and I am left to try and find my way home. Now granted I have God. He is right here with me, holding my hand and telling me to breath and that should be enough but I am a greedy human and I want my ex back. I want to fix this mess, I want to say" THIS ISN'T RIGHT!" I want to do this the right way Bc a love like this doesn't just come around then go, God gave us this for a reason and we need to listen to Him and TRUST. But I cant say those things, I cant do anything. All I can do is hurt, pray and hurt some more. I don't know if I will ever be okay with this, I don't feel things are going to get better, there is always going to be a hole in my heart I am always going to feel like someone cut off my arms as long as I don't have him. No amount of advice is going to get me through this. I truly feel our parents and friends were the main cause of this break up. Everyone had a opinion and I think he lost his in all the noise. I want everyone to shut up, I want our mothers to go away I want our friends to stop saying it will be okay, I want to stand up for what God gave us and follow what is in my heart! I want to scream from the roof tops I love you and I know you love me and with God we can do this. But I have no roof top and if I did I am not to sure my friends would let me on it. All I have is this blog and Our Lord and for now and maybe ever that has to be enough.